a thought from your friend who is an architect student

Hello friend, I know it seems like we haven't spoken in a long time... and that is on me.  I was online last night at 3 am to give my brain a break from ADA specifications and secondary structure assemblies and from what I can see: you are doing well.  It may seem like I am avoiding you; believe me when I tell you, I do really miss you.  It's just that I fell in love...

As you watched me leave for my first day of classes freshman year, I bet you didn't know you were about to lose part of me forever.  I really didn't know it either; if I had known, I would have tried to let you down slowly.  As that first semester rolled on, you heard from me less, and the only times we really did much together was to go de-stress and get coffee or make a 2 am Red Bull run.  I realize this is not quality time, and for this I am sorry.

What you didn't know, was that my mind was being blown everyday I went to class, and I was kind of getting addicted.  I was learning to see the world from a completely different angle.  I was being taught to be confident in the things I didn't know, and to understand the entirety of human emotions and then extrapolate that into a three-dimensional form to make people feel my joy.  I was also taking an accelerated physics class, and since you know math is not my strong suit (hence why I am not an engineer) please, don't write me off.  Needless to say, I have been busy getting no sleep due to the thorough mind re-routing I have been enduring.  It's hard to explain, you hate that you love it too much... but you do.

After that first year of school was over, I understand that I was different.  I want to apologize for sleeping straight through that first week of vacation, but I needed that more than I needed basically anything else.  Also, I do realize it is hard to take me places because I am always telling you what is wrong with the city around us, how that architect used an archetype of Greek architecture incorrectly, or that I can stand and stare at a wall longer than is socially acceptable.  When I do stuff like this just nod and "wow, really? I didn't know that" and secretly know that I am happy in my insanity.  I sometimes forget that I am around normal people who do not care what type of column is holding up that pediment.  Just let me finished drooling/ condemning and we can move on... or if it is taking an extraordinarily long time: just leave me there.  I will catch up.

Now that second year is half over, you are kind of used to my weird habits, and I need to redeem myself.   I really do want to go out with you on the weekends, but when I say no, please don't take it personally.  Just know that I am happy in studio.  Also, when I tell you to come see me in studio: I am being serious.  I care about you, and since that is where I spend all my time: I want you to understand my world (I know you won't, you are normal... but I can dream) and the people I share it with.

Which brings me to another thing... you are not being replaced with my architecture family.  It may seem like it, because I do spend almost all of my time with them.  It's just that they get me: they will stand beside me and stare at that wall willingly.  We have history together, just like you and I do.  The truth is, we all need a little normal in our lives: and you are my normal.

So just realize you are so important to me, even if I don't always seem to put you first.  Please understand I am in love with what I am doing; but it takes most of me.  For now, know that I am intermittently keeping up with you on Snapchat and Instagram, and really do look forward to those rare sweet moments where I can join you in those pictures.

Sincerely,

Your Friend the Architecture Student